Guys, we need to talk about Makida Moka. I’ve kept silent about this issue for way too long, but it’s time to address it. It’s been pretty clear for a while now that hunty’s on the road to becoming the next Lilian Bach (aka the worst actress in the entire fucking universe), but I didn’t know we would have to go through so many disturbing scenes of her on this show. Take, for example, the godawful scene with her & Von this week, I’ve NEVER in all my life seen so much fuckery ooze from one person. It is astounding.
In case you’ve been living under a rock or one of Cossy Hoejiakor’s ginormous hooters, Tok’s been tryna make Eki get rid of the baby so he can ditch her lame ass & be with Cruella De Vil full time. Tool doesn’t know this & agrees, Jerk doesn’t show for their 1pm abortion, nails his beta testing instead. Dumb bitch goes in alone.
Folarin runs into Sharon at a restaurant & tries to bone her, thankfully the background noise isn’t as horrible as that wacky café scene from episode two. Obi’s still tryna shag HBIC & there’s an EFCC ad thrown in there for apparently no reason. He goes to deliver cupcakes to Illa & finds her plotting with some men to kill someone, Folarin scares him off, Illa gets her cupcakes & I need to point out something real quick.
I may be going nuts, but I’m pretty sure there’s a HUGE continuity error in this scene. Folarin hands Illa the box of cupcakes & she opens it. In one shot, the open side of the box is facing her & she takes a cupcake, in the very next shot, that same open side is turned away from her while she takes the same cupcake & in the third shot, its facing her again.
I want you guys to remember exactly where you are right now, because this is potentially the moment when the entire Meka & Von affair gets blown wide open. I’ve been hard on numbskull Sharon for ignoring the obvious signs, but today, she surprised me. Bitch got smart! (I know, I never thought I’d type that either) & found a couple of flirty texts on Meka’s phone at dinner & I’m as excited as you are to see where this goes.
Some dude whose presence makes absolutely zero sense sings.
Eki wakes up to find Tok’s by her bed, apparently she hates him now, he’s driving her home, she suddenly realizes she needs time & space away from him, (boo, iono about Toks but I’m sure we can all agree we need time, space & centuries away from you as well, thank you 🙂 ) gets out of the car & walks home in the rain.
After a million months of enduring it, this fuckfest is FINALLY OVER! (well at least till September) High Five, bitches! If you made it through all eight episodes, congratulations & don’t forget to treat yourself to some actually good TV while we wait.
Hip Hip Whore-ay!