Tag Archives: Ifeanyi Dike Jnr

Gidi Up Season Two Episode Six Review; RIP Eki

You know what, you guys? Last week’s episode was a total snooze-o-rama. I don’t know about you but I’m still reeling from the sheer amount of dumbassery I got hit with in just twenty minutes. So let me be the first to thank the writers for that awesome five minute intro with Toks & Obi cuz lawd knows I needed a distraction from all the idiocy last week.

Obi rapes Illa on the phone, Tok’s talks about techserve, they talk Eki, hookups & money. Makida Moka Robocunt walks in & thankfully doesn’t give us the deets on the I’m-not-sure-but-I’ll-bet-my-firstborn-it-most-definitely-was boring ass sex she & Obi had last night.

Von’s got a customer, Eki mopes around Vone HQ, Ifeanyi Dike speaks & 9,958,896,084,842,752,752 is approximately the number of ovaries that explode whenever he speaks :), Sharon struts in, says some BS & leaves. SIDE NOTE; If I ever have to watch another 30 seconds of Eki crying, I will physically harm myself.

Iono about y’all, but I’ve tried super hard, I just can’t come up with a reason for Folarin’s continued existence on this show. The writers better have a mind blowing revelation about him ahead to justify the unnecessary scenes he’s in every other week. Jide Kosoko guest stars & is A+mazing as always.

Obi’s on air with Wana & you guys, I heard this unreal GBAGAUN on the show. Someone calls in & goes;
Caller- Uche here, we met at Mo’s party a few weeks ago.
Wana- Uche what’s the gist? Any dirt?
Caller- Of course “I do”

I DIE.

Bruh, she didn’t ask “Got any dirt?” she asked “Any dirt?” What’s the “I do” for?? I know I’ve asked this a jillion times, but “Who or What the fuck is responsible for the wacky dialogue on this show???”

Numbskull Uche & Wana bully Obi into a date with a random caller. Von’s closing up at her store & Meka literally runs into her. Oh My Fucking Goodness, how long till these two just bone? Feel free to nap while I sum up this scene. They fall, they laugh, he helps her up, they laugh again, he tries to kiss her, tart says she can’t betray Sharon, Meka gives a BS speech about love, she says no, he leaves.

Obi can’t borrow Tok’s Range for his date & takes a smaller car, picks up his faker-than-Venita Akpofure’s $10,000 butt implants date, Temi, whose sing-song accent + shrill voice will dry up your vagina. Bitch hates the small, non-a.c car, calls a friend, gets off & takes a pic to show everyone how lame Obi is, then mocks him.

In the final scene, Toks tells Eki to get an abortion & I really hope she listens, dies doing it & gets tossed in the ocean. Fucking useless character. If this really happens, may I just say I’m looking forward to many Eki-less moments in the near future. If nothing else, the show’s at least gonna get fewer wtf weeping scenes & move along much faster.

How I feel about this episode?

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Gidi Up Season Two Episode Four Review; Yvonne Ekwere Can’t Find Her G-Spot

There’s one thing the entire world can agree on, no matter where we come from or how DULL we are or whether we prefer to use “tone”, “brighten” or “bleach” and that thing is that those 15 second GTBank ads before every fucking episode of Gidi Up need to STOP.
ASAP.

Obi’s back at his radio job & I think we all need to take a moment to start a slow-clap for the show runners for dragging his season one co-host, eternal IJGB/fake accent connoisseur Maria Okanrende (DJ Foxy from MTV’s Shuga) out the backdoor & hiring someone else this season. After his show, CougarMaster General, Ireti Doyle’s driver takes him to breakfast. I’ll get to that in a bit.

Sharon & Meka argue over milk( wtf?) & their living arrangement, he asks a couple questions about Yvonne, Sharon smiles, then reads something.Valley girl can’t even see her man is falling for Von. ATTENTION: Note carefully the dining room furniture.

Obi meets Illa (Ireti Doyle), who is GLOWING by the way, for breakfast at a “not-yet-open-to-the-public” hotel. Hmmm. Is it just me, or is this THE EXACT SAME dining table(& room) at which Sharon & Meka just fought over milk?

REALLY??? Gidi Up crew,feel free to explain yourselves now.

Breakfast is as awkward as you’d expect & Illa looks so thirsty the entire time, I was almost certain she’d just strip & hump him till his dick fell off, pause, glue it back on & hump him some more. Sadly, none of that happens.

Yvonne gets to the Von fashion store (yeah, she’s in business with her former Sugar Daddy’s daughter now) where Sharon’s in a meeting with some retail outfit & Ifeanyi Dike Jnr. Hey there, cutie :D. She’s pissed at being left out & demands Sharon includes her in other business meetings.

Oh, & Toks may not meet the deadline for his Techserve Beta testing. There’s also a 25 second power bike scene which I’m yet to make sense of. Airhead Eki makes a sandwich, tells Von Tok’s is drifting away from her, Von tells us her life story, Ugh, so depressing. Someone make IT stop talking.

Ladies & Gents, Dingleberry El Grande, Cruella De Vil, aka Yvonne Vixen Ekwere appears in this episode as Tok’s friend,game buddy & fuck piece a creature who very clearly doesn’t know how to cum or where her G-spot is & I’ve taken the liberty of ordering this hussy a veeeeery special gift. Enjoy hunty 😀

And just cuz I m so extremely nice, I’ll let y’all decide who’s sexy face is funniest; Cruella, Tiwa or Her Royal Awkwardness; Seyi Shay.