Tag Archives: instagram

White Witch, Toyin Lawani Wants You To Know She’s Still As Confused As Ever

A funny thing happened on IG today. The shit stain on humanity that is Toyin Lawani shared her new tattoo with a message about ignoring her “haters”. The irony’s on her cuz bitch aint got no haters. I hate to rain on your parade, but nobody gives a shit about you, your tailor shop fashion label, your bottom bitch fake boyfriend baby daddy, or that really unlucky baby he allegedly fucked into you.

LOL. Bitches be all over IG talking about haters that don’t exist.

I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how instagram hash tags work. No spacing? what is this? Instagram for beginners? Shh, nobody tell Toyin this, or that “ainoborry” & “gattime” aren’t actual words. Let’s all just let this trick continue to amaze us with her dumbfuckery. I don’t think I even need to go into how fugly this tattoo is, it speaks for itself.

Its a bummer kids can’t walk, cuz if it could, that baby would run faster than Usain Bolt to the moon to get as far as possible from the foolery oozing from its mother.

Gideon Okeke Tries To Outdo Flavour, Forgets To Include His Dick

I’ve tried, I really have, but I still can’t with Gideon Okeke. Not today, not ever. I know he’s supposed to be some sorta sexy? Nollywood hunk, but everytime I look at him, I cringe. He’s just scary, and NO, not American Horror Story scary, more The Conjuring kinda scary.

This mannequin uploaded a supposedly sexy picture on IG today and I don’t mean to be gross, but I’d rather ride that beautiful piano in the background than come within a mile of his alleged sexiness. Nigga, when are you gonna quit with the depressingly boring IG uploads?

I see you tryna be all sexy, biting your lip, but I’m just gonna point out that at least, Flavour gave us some side ass, if you’re tryna compete with him, you oughta give us a little more; a butt cheek, all of your ass, a peen print, or if you’re feeling lucky EVERYTHING. Am I asking for too much? Be nice Gideon, BE NICE!

And what is it with the fanny pack? Watchu got in there Gideon? Your butt plug?

Majid Michel Licks All The Shit Off Genevieve Nnaji’s Ass

I don’t mean to put words in anybody’s mouth, but are we absolutely certain that Majid Michel isn’t Genevieve’s personal shit eater? He shat out a long ass eulogy speech to her dead career beauty on IG, & man! Is this the most thorough ass licking ever or what? I’m starting to think that maybe there’s something else going on here. I mean, nigga quoted Rihanna lyrics, RIHANNA LYRICS, you guys, & basically called her a god. At this rate, I don’t think she’ll ever need to poop again. He’s licked that ass sore, sucked out all the shit in her & probably swallowed her intestines in one single statement.
This puppy’s been working overtime people, He needs a raise & an extended vacation. Here’s to hoping he gets lost on vacation & never comes back. I mean, I like to think that I’m nasty, but I can NOT take a single second more of this intense Scat Play they’ve got going on.
Comparing yo dumb asses to James Dean & Marilyn Monroe. Ha! You wish!

Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Instagram III

So help me, if Dementia doesn’t quit this her one-sided feud with Lupy ASAP, Imma tie that trick down & stuff a gazillion litres of Shitilicious up her overripe water melon butt.
Something called a Toni Payne is adding an extra layer of fuckery to this shitshow on instagram, while Dementia claims sales are up by 70%. You guys, I actually believe her, I mean she’s probably gone from selling 1 jar a day to 7, so hey, that’s 70% right? Or it could be that she’s just still thinking with her implants.
Thing is, we still don’t actually know what’s in that Shitilicious concoction. It could be her farts, squirts & what’s left of her shitty brains bottled up & she’s somehow selling it as a legit cream. Ugh, the fuckery we take from this knuckle head.

This Is Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Instagram

Someone call Animal Control, we’ve got a hippo on the run! Who the fuck let the apes out??? Below are pictures of something called an Eniola Badmus holidaying in New York.
And five minutes after this picture was taken, SHREK showed up to lead his wife back home.