Tag Archives: juliet ibrahim

10 Stupidest First Tweets Of Your Favorite Nollysluts

Twitter’s eight people! Although most of us have only been on it for a few years. Twitter just introduced a new tool, First Tweet, with which you can see anybody’s first tweet EVER. Yours, your boo’s, your bff’s or your frienemie’s. And YES, you can find celebrities’ first tweets too!

WARNING! Do NOT click this link or you’ll be useless for the next few days, stalking the first tweet of everyone you know. Being the benevolent angel that I am, I’ve compiled the first tweets of some of our favorite nollysluts. You’re welcome.

LOL. You? A covenant with God? Stop it, my tummy hurts.

Duh!

You guys, I give up, this trick has been partying for so long, its just pointless to try to make her quit now. TOO LATE

Nigga, how hard can it possibly be to navigate Uti’s butt twitter?

Me too hun, still tryna figure out watchu been doing with yo life since Ije, 2010

I hate to break it to ya, but it’s probably the same traffic your career has been in for a decade now.

I’ll be right here hun, listening to my music & watching you make questionable life choices.

LOL, exactly what you’ve achieved in the past five years

Good for you,J, now if only you’d learn how to actually ACT

WTF are you typing? What is this? Twitter for toddlers?

That Not-Smart Nollyslut Who Sang With IK Ogbonna Is Still Married

No longer content with being little more than a washed up talentless nollyslut,(remember any of her movies? No? Me neither) Juliet Shitbrahim keeps reaching for that rainbow of relevancy by telling us more about her open marriage than we’ll ever need to know.

She & her hubby shat out the following words to Razz Newspapers. I know, what an awesome coincidence. Razz newspapers? I just can’t.
Nigga said;

“When did you ever hear me speak in public? The only time I speak is when the issue concerns my business. I will say it again that the rumour is not true. She was not at my party because she had a lot to do in Nigeria.”

Let me correct that for you,
“When did you ever hear me TALK SHIT in public? The only time I BLAB is when the issue concerns my business. I will say it again that the rumour is not true. IT was not at my party because IT had a lot to FUCK in Nigeria.”

Hoe said;
“Do you know how often I am with my family?”

No, we don’t & I know I speak for the majority of humanity when I say, we DO NOT wanna know.

“Why would anybody want to say that acting is taking much of my time and away from my family?”

I know right! Who’d dare say that? I mean, considering you’ve not been in any sensible movie EVER in years.

“I was not at the party because I was in Nigeria, shooting. his party was supposed to be meant for him and his friends to celebrate and make merry – are you trying to say, he can’t have fun with friends because he’s married?”

Once more, let me correct that for you,
I was not at THAT SHITSHOW because I was in Nigeria, FUCKING. his party was supposed to be meant for him and his GIRLFRIENDS to FUCK and FUCK SOME MORE – are you trying to say, he can’t FUCK OTHER HOES because he’s married?”

In the words of the most sparkling poop on the planet, AINOBORRY GATIME FOR DT!, but if that stud with them below ever needs a blowie, then I MOST CERTAINLY got time for that. When you’re ready come & get it hun. Ugh, those stupid Selena Dumbez lyrics.

Stars In Rags; The House Of Nwocha Shitshow Edition

1. Hey there, I’m IK, king of awkwardness & this is Juliet & together we’ll be making some of the CRAPPIEST MUSIC YOU’LL EVER HERE
2. Ugh, you again? Give up the crown already.
3. Your face scares me.
4. Awesome table cloth boo, really cute.
5. There are not enough words to describe how horrible this is.
6. Twice as trashy.
7. Is that an elastic waistband? Why can I see the outline of your underwear?? Why are you doing this to us???

New Music Alert! Juliet Ibrahim Ft. IK Ogbonna: Crayfish Music

For some reason that I have no interest whatsoever in learning, the awkward giraffe that is IK Ogbonna is making music with something called a Juliet Ibrahim. Y’all better get ready, this will be a whole new level of fuckery. I mean, you can barely pretend to act & now you’re gonna sing? And you’re gonna do it with an even worse actor? I’m sorry, but I’m not quite sure either of you thought this through.