Tag Archives: seyi shay

Gidi Up Season Two Episode Four Review; Yvonne Ekwere Can’t Find Her G-Spot

There’s one thing the entire world can agree on, no matter where we come from or how DULL we are or whether we prefer to use “tone”, “brighten” or “bleach” and that thing is that those 15 second GTBank ads before every fucking episode of Gidi Up need to STOP.
ASAP.

Obi’s back at his radio job & I think we all need to take a moment to start a slow-clap for the show runners for dragging his season one co-host, eternal IJGB/fake accent connoisseur Maria Okanrende (DJ Foxy from MTV’s Shuga) out the backdoor & hiring someone else this season. After his show, CougarMaster General, Ireti Doyle’s driver takes him to breakfast. I’ll get to that in a bit.

Sharon & Meka argue over milk( wtf?) & their living arrangement, he asks a couple questions about Yvonne, Sharon smiles, then reads something.Valley girl can’t even see her man is falling for Von. ATTENTION: Note carefully the dining room furniture.

Obi meets Illa (Ireti Doyle), who is GLOWING by the way, for breakfast at a “not-yet-open-to-the-public” hotel. Hmmm. Is it just me, or is this THE EXACT SAME dining table(& room) at which Sharon & Meka just fought over milk?

REALLY??? Gidi Up crew,feel free to explain yourselves now.

Breakfast is as awkward as you’d expect & Illa looks so thirsty the entire time, I was almost certain she’d just strip & hump him till his dick fell off, pause, glue it back on & hump him some more. Sadly, none of that happens.

Yvonne gets to the Von fashion store (yeah, she’s in business with her former Sugar Daddy’s daughter now) where Sharon’s in a meeting with some retail outfit & Ifeanyi Dike Jnr. Hey there, cutie :D. She’s pissed at being left out & demands Sharon includes her in other business meetings.

Oh, & Toks may not meet the deadline for his Techserve Beta testing. There’s also a 25 second power bike scene which I’m yet to make sense of. Airhead Eki makes a sandwich, tells Von Tok’s is drifting away from her, Von tells us her life story, Ugh, so depressing. Someone make IT stop talking.

Ladies & Gents, Dingleberry El Grande, Cruella De Vil, aka Yvonne Vixen Ekwere appears in this episode as Tok’s friend,game buddy & fuck piece a creature who very clearly doesn’t know how to cum or where her G-spot is & I’ve taken the liberty of ordering this hussy a veeeeery special gift. Enjoy hunty 😀

And just cuz I m so extremely nice, I’ll let y’all decide who’s sexy face is funniest; Cruella, Tiwa or Her Royal Awkwardness; Seyi Shay.

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50 Shades Of Delusion; The Complete Fashion Mag Edition

Easter came early, you guys! cuz Complete Fashion, a mag that iono who the fuck still reads, is gifting us with its trailblazers knuckleheads edition & man! the delusion on this one is thick.

How perfect is it that Toke is basically photoshopped into the most shapeless mermaid alive, O.C looks lost + high & that alien on the right is supposedly Seyi Shay? This is the most snoozeworthy cover of all time. I mean, it could be a photo of sand on that cover & there’d be no difference.

While you’re still tryna get how Seyi Shay & Toke are trailblazers, let me direct you to the inner cover on which Sean Tizzle, Kach, Emma Nyra, B-Red & Beverly Naya are listed as “The Ones to Watch”

Where do I even start?
Sean Tizzle? Really, someone wants us to watch the scarier, shorter, less talented but more shapeless version of Davido? I’ll pass.
Kach; what are you???
Emma Nyra – Iyanya’s maid? No, thank you.
B-Red; um, who?
Beverly Naya; ok guys, I’m actually with CF mag on this, we should totally watch out for that awkwardly bent neck before it snaps & her head rolls into obscurity.

Whoever is responsible for this magazzzzzine deserves a high five, in the face, with a stool. ASAP! On second thought, make that a dozen stools.