Tag Archives: this tweet

10 Stupidest First Tweets Of Your Favorite Nollysluts

Twitter’s eight people! Although most of us have only been on it for a few years. Twitter just introduced a new tool, First Tweet, with which you can see anybody’s first tweet EVER. Yours, your boo’s, your bff’s or your frienemie’s. And YES, you can find celebrities’ first tweets too!

WARNING! Do NOT click this link or you’ll be useless for the next few days, stalking the first tweet of everyone you know. Being the benevolent angel that I am, I’ve compiled the first tweets of some of our favorite nollysluts. You’re welcome.

LOL. You? A covenant with God? Stop it, my tummy hurts.


You guys, I give up, this trick has been partying for so long, its just pointless to try to make her quit now. TOO LATE

Nigga, how hard can it possibly be to navigate Uti’s butt twitter?

Me too hun, still tryna figure out watchu been doing with yo life since Ije, 2010

I hate to break it to ya, but it’s probably the same traffic your career has been in for a decade now.

I’ll be right here hun, listening to my music & watching you make questionable life choices.

LOL, exactly what you’ve achieved in the past five years

Good for you,J, now if only you’d learn how to actually ACT

WTF are you typing? What is this? Twitter for toddlers?

Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Twitter VI

I have little zero interest in what this IK person is, but my money’s on him being a world class stoner, cuz you gotta be on some pretty strong shit to shit out such a delusional tweet.

I mean, what person in his right mind lusts after a mosquito, a hippo, or a mannequin? You gotta be so fucking high, higher than the delusion oozing from Maheeda to do that. What I really wanna know is why the most elegant dingleberry in the universe isn’t on this list. This is outrageous!

She is the ONLY nollyslut worth lusting after. Unless of course you’re into dudes, then I’d recommend Mo Cheddah this yummy man candy.

Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Twitter V

I’m all for talking about sex & the multitude of positions possible, in private. Not with strangers & definitely not with strangers, on twitter. Something called a Toyin Aimakhu who’s supposed to be an actress had a chat with her twitter followers & decided to give us waaay too much info on her sex life.
Someone asked for her favorite sex position & she tweeted “chain mum and dad”.
I’ve got so many questions; Really? Tryna invent a new sex position? Wtf is chain mum & dad?? Do you both chain yourselves up & lick the chains? Do you invite your parents for a foursome & whip them with chains? Or do you just um, lock your brain away in chains & throw away the key?
Most importantly, Why are you doing this to us???

An Actual Human Being Is Dating Vic O?

It’s a miracle! No, you’re not going crazy, someone IS dating Vic O! An actual human being!, who I’m assuming he met at one of his ridiculously hilarious “hafter parries”
If you’ve been dead & somehow don’t know who Vic O is, let me allow him introduce himself with these lyrics from one of his “amazing” songs;
“Neegas I’m not hesactly what u tink i ham, Now if u must know who i ham, Am na-Am a man of V hi P. A man of Gad & I
not de madafacka. Ham de son of Gad Neegas. Ham just wanna let u neegas know dat life is had”
If this blog never gets updated again, its probably cuz I died laughing.

Dencia Wants You To Know Just How Dumb She Is

So, um guys, Dementia is still tryna be famous. She’s obviously not selling that whitenicious shit as well as she’d like us to believe, or she wouldn’t be all up in our faces, every single day.
The ray of light that is Lupita Nyong’o spoke about black beauty at a Hollywood luncheon & mentioned getting a letter from a fan thinking of using Shitilicious. Dementia being the skeevy twat that she is went crazy on twitter again.
I’m totally in support of a hoe doing whatever she’s gotta do to make bank, but this particular hoe needs to chill. I mean, you really think a REAL star would go out of her way to mention you, a FAKE ass, shitbrained, nauseating cumwhore in a speech?
I’m starting to feel this bitch might be thinking with her implants.

Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Twitter IV

The tweets below are of some video hoe, Veezeebaybeh ( never heard of her) yapping about her friend, Nicky Copwhatever, stealing her human hair. Its a slow news day guys, I know.
This, ladies & gentlemen, is a classic case of one famewhore calling out another famewhore for being a famewhore by doing it in the most whore-ific way possible; twitter.
Grow Up Bitches!

Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Twitter III

How dare anyone compare this drag queen to Whoopi Goldberg? You’re not a virgin & you’re not a slut, what are you? A tranny???
Grandma, you don’t tweetfight fans or haters, you put them in their place like Rihanna does or you ignore them.
To think EME dropped Skales & kept this nutjob. Why???

In News Nobody Cares About: Karen “Scarecrow” igho ‘Beat’ Cancer

Two months after tweeting about having cancer, scarecrow tweeted this today. I guess congratulations are in order or whatever, but excuse me for not giving a fuck about this famewhore. Bitch please! This was probably just an excuse to get bigger implants.

Why Wild Animals Shouldn’t Use Twitter II

The tweets below are of ‘the bald one’ denying reports that he’s knocked up another hoe, and ‘the razz’ one trying to defend him.
The fact that they’re both viciously denying it, means it probably true. I don’t know what the fuss is about, I mean did she really think she could tie him down? Once a man slut, ALWAYS a man slut.